Quirks of the Fandom Life
by PokeyDotes
Summary: Turns out Deeks doesn't do any better than his partner when cooped up in Ops with Eric. "I'm sorry, did reality hurt your feelings?"


**This is the result of a boring lunch break. If you like it, thank you. If you hate it, I apologize. **

* * *

There's a small pop and then a whir as the air conditioner kicks on, the sound disrupting the otherwise oppressing silence currently overtaking Ops. Deeks can't think of a time where he's been more bored, stake-outs included.

The only reason he's stuck inside instead of out and about with the rest of the gang is because his alias is supposedly dead, at least for the time being. As a result, he gets to help Eric, which, so far, has included nothing more than staring at a screen full of pictures and long-worded documents.

Eyes burning from staring at the screen, Deeks takes a step back, leaving Eric to muddle through the overlapping pictures. He places his forefinger on the back of a chair, giving it enough of a push to send it spinning about slowly.

Taking a deep breath in through his nose, Deeks glances over the neatly arranged computers, scattered post-its and pens dispersed amongst the keyboards and monitors. He quirks an eyebrow as his eyes land on a long, thin object peeking out from beneath the edge of a blue folder.

Leaning forward, Deeks nudges the folder to the side, revealing the rest of the object.

"What's this?" he calls over his shoulder.

Eric slowly turns his head in Deeks direction, his eyes still on the screen. "Huh?" he asks distractedly.

Deeks picks up the object, twirling it between his fingers as he looks up at Eric, his crooked smile quickly becoming mischievous. "Is this what I think it is?"

Eric's eyes finally make it to Deeks to see what he's holding. "Oh that," he says, a mix of embarrassment and pride leaking into his tone as he reaches for the object, taking it from Deeks. "That would be my, uh, my wand."

Deeks' smile only widens, his head leaned back lazily as he puts his suddenly empty hands in his pockets. "Your wand?"

"Yeah," Eric says, embarrassment now gone as he grips the end of the wand's handle and twists. "It doubles as a pen." He gives the handle a quick pull, revealing the tip of a pen on the end of the "wand".

"It _doubles_ as a pen?" Deeks asks calmly, quickly reaching forward and snatching it out of Eric's hand. He looks at the tip before scribbling a line on his palm, the ink a bright blue. "Meaning its first and main function is a wand?"

Eric sort of mouths wordlessly for a few moments and gives a half-hearted shrug before trying to justify his reasoning. "It's a novelty item," he explains, "it came with the fifth Harry Potter book."

Deeks nods slowly , lips pursed, eyes squinted as he studies the pen with an exaggerated closeness. "So, it's really just a pen," he says matter-of-factly.

"Well," Eric begins.

"It doesn't actually do any magic," Deeks continues, as though Eric hadn't interrupted.

"It's—"

"Because, you know Eric, magic isn't actually real," Deeks finishes, his face adopting a mockingly apologetic look.

Eric stares blankly at Deeks, his eyes slowly narrowing in insulted accusation. "Why do you hurt me?"  
he asks, forcefully yanking the pen from Deeks' hand.

"I'm sorry," Deeks says softly in a clearly patronizing tone, his smile showing that he's only teasing, "did reality hurt your feelings again?"

Eric puts the cap on the pen, transforming it back into a wand before tucking it away in the pocket of his shorts. "You know, it might not be able to do magic, but it can still poke someone's eye out."

Deeks clicks his tongue, tilting his head as he gives a slight grimace. "That sounds sorta violent, Eric. I might have to talk to Hetty about that."

Eric gives a non-caring shrug as he sits in front of his computer. "Isn't Hetty the one who always says to use whatever's available to our advantage? I might not be an agent, but it's still good advice."

"True," Deeks concedes with a slow bob of his head, "but you're also not a wizard, yet you have a wand."

Eric shakes his head, tossing an incredulous look towards Deeks. "This coming from the guy who has a stuffed direwolf sitting on his kitchen counter."

Deeks points a finger at Eric, his voice rising defensively. "Hey, that was a gift from Kensi, and direwolves can rip your throat out!"

"Yeah, and a wand can torture a man into insanity before killing him," Eric quickly points out. "But at least my pen can still do damage if need be. What are you gonna do with your stuffed animal? Bop the bad guy on the head and run?"

Deeks stares in shocked silence at Eric, finger still pointed as his brain tries to reason with the conversation they're having. Slowly, he drops his hand to his side before plopping down in Nell's empty chair, his hands coming to rest in his lap. He stares at his thumbs as he worries his tongue over his bottom lip, concession slowly working its way into his mind. Finally, he looks to the side, away from Eric as he gives an embarrassed cough before speaking. "I'm sorry I made fun of your wand," he says quietly.

Eric straightens his posture as he positions his hands over the keyboard, aiming for a look of professionalism. "Sorry I made fun of your wolf."

Deeks taps the pads of his thumbs together, his lips pursed to the side as looks up at the large screen and the many pictures on display. "You haven't mentioned Ghost to Sam and Callen have you?" he asks, referring to the solid white stuffed animal.

"Nope," Eric assures him, fingers flying over the keyboard, rhythmic clicking filling the awkward silence. "You're not gonna tell them about my wand are you?" he finally asks, turning to look pleadingly towards Deeks.

"Nope," Deeks promises, right hand rising as three fingers extend, forming the Scout's Honor position. Eric gives a grateful nod and turns back to his screen, fingers once again flying. A few moments tick by, neither man saying a word as the sounds of the air conditioner and abused keyboard fill the quiet.

"For the record," Deeks says, breaking the silence, "I think Harry Potter's pretty cool."

Eric ducks his head and smiles. "I've got Game of Thrones on Blu-Ray…and I read all the books."

Deeks gives a breathy laugh, and massages the knot of muscles at the back of his neck. "God, we're idiots."

"I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeks," a quiet voice says from behind. Both Deeks and Eric turn, each jumping a few inches out of their seats as Hetty steps further into the room, a soft smile on her face. "But now that the two of you have made up, would you mind getting back to work?" She points an aged finger at the screen, the numerous photos and documents still overlapping.

"We were just…um, we weren't…," Eric stutters to explain, stopping when he sees the pointed look Hetty gives him. "Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, Gentlemen," she says, her smile returning. She turns and begins walking to the door, her hands clasped behind her back. Before she disappears from sight, she turns her head and calls over her shoulder. "If you find how our suspect is getting his funding, I might show you my light saber."

Both Deeks and Eric snort as they try to stop their laughter.

**AN: For the record, I have a Harry Potter pen/wand. I use it to endorse my paychecks. It makes me happy.**


End file.
